Today I Stole An Azalea Bush
It’s always in the little moments I have found. It’s like your shadow, you might not always be able to see it or even remember that it’s there, but it’s there all the same. It’s a beautiful and rare thing that contentment of life, so forward thinking are our bodies and minds propelling us so quickly onwards we forget to appreciate the moment we have right now.
Today the sun was shining in its soft springtime way, breezy enough to enjoy, sunny enough for sandals and dresses. I am currently writing this sporting a rather pink skin, kissed by the sun, red tomorrow. I felt life returning to my body today while I walked through the flower gardens in Southampton. I saw couples walking hand in hand and children playing, I saw an old man on a bench eating an ice cream with his wife. Two men with pugs walking arm in arm, synchronised walking. Love was everywhere today, I felt it in the air. I saw it with my eyes.
It made me reflect on how lucky I have been to have the love I do. I have the love of my friends who have listened to my cry, holding my hands and whispering reassuring words into my hair. My body tucked into their beds, my forehead kissed with promises of better days. My family and their ever warm embrace, never faltering just inviting. Laughter is what we share loud and bellowing and forever, tea is had around tables that know our secrets, hearts shared over a lifetime of meals. Hands are held in this home, the home of family. My home with Phoebe, the way we sleep face to face, her small stumpy legs rest on either side of my neck my face in her chest, her gentle steady heartbeat keeping me strong, making me ready for another day, a reason to come home at night. The home I have made for myself, flowers everywhere, pencils and drawings and my laptop playing Spotify, the same songs a comfort, the same songs that have made me cry, laugh, dance. Coffee is drank here, diaries written, questions asked to the hallway, wishes made from the windows to the moon. Kisses have been had here. I rebuilt my heart here, I found myself again. The love I have from all of you who read my blogs, or buy my art, supporting my dream of being an artist, I am so proud to tell people that I do this for my heart, I am the artist I wanted to be growing up, I couldn’t have do it without you and you and you! It is my pleasure to tell you I love you, it is my joy to welcome you to my home. Art is made here.
Yesterday I danced. I danced all night jubilant and wild, my hands held and laughter exchanged, singing has been made here. I feel so light today with my hands being held in the sunlight, the memories of dancing gentle in my brain. Today I fell asleep in arms so soft and safe, close by a bush of the most beautiful pink azaleas, the sun against my cheeks, my head pressed against a heartbeat, steady and loud to my ears, my hands held, birds sang my ears and daisies tickled my arms, it was perfect.
Its in these moments I feel so present, the napping, the sunshine, the dancing. I want to cry today for all the love I have, all the reasons I have to gently celebrate that my heart still rests here after all this time, she is still going strong, she’s just been resting awhile. It’s been beautiful to have this present clarified day, so soft snd balmy. It’s exactly what my heart needed.
Today I stole some azaleas, they lay upon the floor. I carried them home in a bag for life and I placed them in a glass bottle of appletizer. Green and white and radiant they sit in their bottle. A reminder of the day that I just felt like myself again. A day of feeling lost beautifully in the moment. A day full of love, days I wish to have more of. Days I will have more of. I hope you do too.
Until next time babies,
Love Bitsifind x